“Dreaming of rotten wood hints on appropriate time to pay serious attention to own health.”
Well today is the last day I will health insurance for who knows how long. I am hoping only a few days-weeks. Great time to be without it huh..?
I have had an increase in need for coverage with an ongoing problem. Now, I have a new one and since today’s the last day I am having a bunch of tests. Blood, X-rays, etc.
Last night I dreamt about the house I spent most of my childhood in… there are these wooden steps near the kitchen… in my dream they were rotting away. I wanted to fix them. I even looked up how on my phone in my dream. And then I also had a dream about brakes on my car not working. And that means that I’m “out of control” in some part of my life. Mentions an affair, anxiety, money matters.
so anyway. I will be doing my best to re-evaluate and fix these issues. I need to do all I can to stay physically and emotionally healthy in next few weeks. Hoping this lapse in coverage won’t last longer than a week.
So a few month ago there was this great love. I miss it. I want to continue to pursue it. I was told it’s over. But for me it’s not. In my head I see that you are gone but my heart still feels as if you are here, with me. I wish that were enough, I want the physical touch of your hands, I need your body close to hug all this hurt away. I miss you. I love you. If you ever see this I hope it means we will be as one again. 🌹💔❤️
I love you like how the sun rises every day in the sky. It is part of the natural rhythm of life. It will never stop or lessen or fade. And that is painful. And that makes it feel like a punishment. Like I’m banished to a place where unwanted people go.
I am listening
I hear you shout
I wonder why you even doubt
I’m here, never left
Inspired action to call again
Dreams of times way back when
I originally wrote this back in June I believe. It’s been sitting in my Tumblr and it needed a home here.
—————————-“I was born”
In honor of the release of the newest Hanson song…
the lyrics are amazingly true in my life. More so now than ever before. I am on a new journey and it is so inspiring.
I feel more driven now than almost ever before in my life. So many amazing things are happening.
“I was born to do, something, no ones ever done… I was born to go somewhere, no ones ever gone… I was born to be someone, no ones ever been before!” -Hanson
The past few days I have struggled with a decision. But today I feel at peace with it. Things are different in my life today then they were back in June but I am still very much motivated. For different reasons, I have goals. Short term and long term. My main focus daily is peace. I know I was born to do something amazing. I was told by someone I admire that my talent is wellness…
Can that be a talent? Being well? Teaching wellness? Knowing wellness?
Not sure how I feel or interpret that. However, I do love instilling hope and positivity in people. I’m going to end this and hopefully visit to write again soon.
So it’s been awhile since I posted here on my regular blog, I’ve been using tumblr a lot lately. Yesterday I was driving and listening to, who else… Hanson! And the lyrics made me think about writing, and how they described my life and it was perfect. So starting with my next post I am taking a Hanson song/lyrics and then telling a life story that resonates with that song.
And I got an email this morning that made my eyes light up! I don’t want to talk too much about it yet, but it’s exciting and BiG news. So as I face my day with more happiness I wish the same for you.
I want to feel free, it may take being there with you, that’s what you do… that’s the addiction I have. I love the way I feel when I’m with you.
Free, relaxed, not a worry in the world.
There is NO one else that makes me feel that way.
I want to spend that time with you, I want to talk and laugh and drink. I want that long gaze then the neck pull… and I lose all control from there! That is what I want..!
I want to be spontaneous and just come see you. Maybe I’m just nuts but I miss you, it’s been months since I saw you. And so much has happened and things don’t feel the same. I want that back. I want we had last year. It was fun and free. Can we have that back please?