Been a awake and teary for about an hour now…
Realizing being an introvert feels like a curse sometimes. There are things I want but feel out of reach because I can’t break that barrier. People I need, and want but I’m not enough. I can’t express myself, out of the fear of being embarrassed. I want to do kind things and make a difference, but some things require actions that I just don’t have in me.
My job forces me to talk to people, these people come to me for advice and assistance. I am able to open up because they ask… but I will never just tell!
I have desires and dreams and a curse that keeps me from realizing them. This curse has caused me to feel as though I am not enough for some people. I feel like I shouldn’t even try. I should just go back and hide. I want to be more, I want to be enough. But I feel like I don’t even know how to grow and become the person they need. Growth and change is inevitable so why not make it worth it… but I just don’t know which way is up sometimes.