Just wanted a “hi”

Today I am struggling again. Struggling to fight actions that may plague me. I want to just say “hi” to you. I want to call or text or just show up. Yea life goes on, but it can be better than just okay. I wish I could either get up the guts to do it or move on and forget! Both ideas are bringing anxiety and unfomfortable feelings… How could they both feel the same..? 

I want it back, I want the fun, the conversations. I want to be calm and smart and slow it down… See where it goes. It was such a rush and impulsiveness kinda took over and I am seeing clearly now. 

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