The day is coming of the anniversary of my mothers passing. It has been 20 years! 20 years of a girl with no mom. Learning about life on my own. No phone calls no one to get that certain kind of advice from. I am not even very sure how I have made it to the point I am at. The short 11 years I had with her apparently were pretty awesome in preparing me for my life. I am not without faults and issues but I am doing pretty damn well considering! 🙂
I have included a passage I wrote 4 years ago on April 19th 2012. I wrote it as I prepared for my wedding day.
I thought of you many times today. I still miss you everyday. I am sad that you are not here to help me with my wedding plans, but I know you’re watching and I know you’re proud. I have been looking through photos, I’m trying to find the perfect one to show Abbi what her grandma looks like. It’s been 16 yrs since you’ve been gone and I have had to stop 3 times already while writing this because I still cry. Some yrs are worse than others. 2009 was hard because I really wanted you to be there with me to meet Abbi for the first time. This year is just as hard. I wish I still had something of yours I could keep close to me when I get married next week. I guess I’m just trying to say I love you and miss you so much!